Next month I turn 36.
When it gets close to my birthday, I go into reflection mode. Given that writing is cathartic for me, I thought I'd sit down and write something.
In my 35th year of life on Earth, I fell out of love with strategy and advertising, which is pretty much my entire career.
For a long time, I tried to pretend everything was ok. I thought maybe I just needed a break or a chunky side project to fill up my soul again. I tried everything, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't fall back in love with it. It was gone. A bit like being in a 'good marriage' with someone who ticks all the right boxes, but there's no passion left.
I was faced with a choice:
1. Keep pretending for as long as I could that I was happy and interested. Keep earning good money, but die a slow death on the inside.
2. Leave and suffer the pain and consequence of what this huge decision may bring.
For a while, I tried to do one, but it failed miserably. So I went with the second option out of desperation, hope, and undeniable optimism.
Initially, it seemed like an amazing decision. I was ecstatic, I felt free and I decided to pursue my lifelong love of spirituality and all things unseen.
The problem? Fear. Fear that everyone would think I was crazy, fear that the money would run out, fear I would lose everything.
All of these are an absolute possibility. Every new venture requires a leap of faith. Every new venture will have its fair share of wins and failures.
I've always had respect for people who go out on their own, but now I get it even more. It's hard, isolating and the belief you need to carry you through your darkest moments is insane, but what value do money, security, and prestige hold when you are unhappy?
How long should we stay in a job with the same colleagues, friends and relationships because doing something weird might be dangerous or make other people feel uncomfortable?
When I post about spirituality and my channeling service on Linked In, it's crickets.
Will that make me stop and go back to who I was and what I was doing?
I love crossing the line, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about going back some days. It's hard not fitting in and I'm someone who has made a career of it. The thing is, even when you don't fit in, there's still an acceptable level of 'fitting in'. We're happy to celebrate individualism and weirdness to a point, but there is definitely an invisible line where people want you to stop. I hate that line. Even more than I used to.
That line kills creativity, it keeps people in jobs they hate and it keeps us generic. The line needs to be destroyed, but first, we all need to be a bit more honest. Honest with how we're feeling about where we've ended up, what we want and what we're prepared to give (and sacrifice) in order to have the life we really want.
No career change is easy, but it doesn't mean we should stay in a career we don't enjoy because it's harder to leave. Our identity isn't fixed, but we need to be prepared to let it go in order for a new identity to form.
I will continue to post about spirituality and the work I do with helping people find their purpose and their way. If it makes people feel uncomfortable because I communicate with dead people, spirits and gods, amazing. Anything I can do to push that invisible line a little bit further, I'll do it. If it encourages other people to pursue the weird shit they're interested in, fuck yeah.
Life is weird. We are all weird and we should let our weirdness show. Keeping it hidden does not do us or anyone around us any favours.
If you're unhappy, sick of conforming and meeting invisible standards, let's talk.
If you've got a dream, let's talk about it. My big passion is helping people find their true selves and their true purpose. It's not a glamorous ride, believe me, but it's one that's worthwhile.
If this article has resonated with you, get in touch. You can reach me via Linked In or via my website.