When I feel lost, I turn to reading, podcasts and John Mayer. Alongside my favourite spiritual guides, John has been a guide throughout my teenage and adult years. I know that sounds funny, but his words speak to me in a way that no other musicians can.
I have a lot to thank John for. He helped me through coming out in my early 20's, my quarter-life crisis in my late 20's and more recently my spiritual awakening in my 30's.
Overnight I received an email from someone who spoke of feeling a sadness with no rhyme or reason why. It reminded me of one of my favourite John Mayer songs, 'Something's Missing'.
As the chorus goes...
And I don't know how to fix it
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
What I have come to know is that there is something missing for a lot of us. The tricky thing is, how do you solve a problem you can't actually define? Solving what we can see, feel or touch is easy. Solving what is unseen is much harder, but also much more valuable to us in the long run.
When responding to this email and trying to define what I could do to help, it made me think of a few reasons why a deep longing, sadness or pain can exist without an identifiable reason.
We are yet to find our purpose
We can be good at so many things, but if we haven't found our purpose, even what we're good at can make us feel empty. It's like putting a puzzle together only to find you're missing the last few pieces. It doesn't matter how good the puzzle looks, if you can't complete it, then what's the point, right?
Those pieces exist, sometimes we just need to be reminded of where to look.
We've got wounds we don't even know exist
Beneath our skin and in our minds, hearts and souls we carry wounds not only from this life but from others. Just because we have a new body doesn't mean the wounds of old aren't sitting there weeping and making this life even harder.
Knowing we all have unseen wounds means we can start treating them. All of the pain and sadness you feel has a source. All of the fears we have, conscious or unconscious have a reason. Everything can be undone if we know and understand where it has come from.
Sometimes we know where we want to end up, but we don't know where to start
Even when you know your purpose, can see your wounds and you're sitting on your loungeroom listening to John Mayer waiting for a sign, you can still need help finding your way. Getting help is ok and even though your soul might be 3,000 years old, in this life you might still be 33.
If you're feeling like something's missing, know that there are people out there who can help you find your way. Know that it's ok to wander on your own too. Know that how you feel may not just be the product of this life, but the product of many, that everything you feel is reversible and the hole you may feel in your heart today may not be there tomorrow.
Life on this strange little place called Earth is a riddle, but one that can be solved and that's the adventure of being here.
Courtney Beck is an author, channel, healer and coach who is a lifelong seeker now helping others find their way.